Rebuild
by HeartNovaXIII
Summary: Rowan Littleton, a member of the elite military force SeeD, doesn't remember much about the past. Meeting a group of fresh-faced young SeeDs challenges Rowan's ability to block out the memories they never wanted to remember. A re-imagining of the original storyline. Rated T for language and violence. May change in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1: Find Your Way

I never really know where to begin telling my story. Starting from the beginning often takes up too much time, and I have better things to do that explain every facet of my past. Honestly, I'm having trouble remember much of it. They say that utilizing Guardian Forces too often causes profound memory loss. Maybe if I keep writing down all the things I remember, I won't be able to forget them. I've already forgotten so much, and I can't imagine having to let go of the memories I've made in these past few weeks.

My name is Rowan Littleton, and I am a soldier stationed at Galbadia Garden. I have been told that I am 19 years old, but with all the lies I have been fed in the last few years, I wouldn't be surprised if this is also false. Until recently I did a lot of odd jobs for both Headmasters Martine and Kramer, as I have a rather peculiar set of skills. However, this is not pertinent to the story I want to tell. I don't remember how I came to Garden; I can only remember the last two years or so of my life, thanks to the multiple GFs I've had junctioned since then. I never really thought about my past, until now.

Anyway, I want to get to the heart of this story. I'm still trying to pick up the pieces of what happened in the last few days, and it all started when I met a curious group of young SeeDs.

For the past few months, I've been contracted by General Caraway of the Galbadian Army to serve as a bodyguard to his daughter, Rinoa Heartilly. Since then Rinoa and I have lived in Timber with her revolutionary group, the Timber Forest Owls. I don't know much about their plans, and I honestly try my hardest to not involve myself. I'm here to protect Rinoa; that's my only job. I really don't care about Timber's independence or anything other than doing my job to the best of my ability and making sure Rinoa is never hurt. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I want to start from the day I met this band of kids who changed my life and helped me realize the humanity I never thought I had.

I awoke to the sound of my phone's ringer blaring in my ears. Cursing quietly, I rolled over to pick it up. I flicked it open and held it to my ear.

"What do you want?" I inquired groggily.

"Major Littleton?" The voice on the other end was shrill and fell hard on my ear. "Are you free this morning?"

"Speaking?" I grumble.

"Oh, sorry, Major," says the voice. "This is Xu. From Balamb Garden?"

"Oh, hello, Xu," I said, trying to save face. _I don't need BG on my ass just for being rude to an instructor_.

Xu paused. "We have a situation here. One of our adjudicators has fallen ill, and we need you to take her place. We have a student who still needs to acquire a GF in the Fire Cavern."

I rolled my eyes, stifling a groan. "There aren't any other instructors who can do it?" _Please let there be another adjudicator. I'm already adjudicating a field exam later today_, I thought.

"Unfortunately, they're all rather busy," hemmed Xu. "We really need you to come do it. Can you be here in two hours?"

_Two hours?!_ I thought bitterly. _I'm in Timber!_ I breathed in deeply.

"Sure, yeah, I'll be there as soon as possible," I promised, rising from my bed.

"Thank you so much, Major!" exclaimed Xu. "I'll email you the necessary files as soon as we hang up. We owe you one!"

_You already owe me_, I thought. "No problem," I lied.

Xu and I both hung up. In the dark, I gingerly tiptoed around my bed to my dresser, pulling out some practical clothes which I hoped matched. I printed out the materials Xu sent and packed them with my clipboard and my dress and combat uniforms. I then wrapped and buckled up my belt, and sheathed my twin daggers into the holsters I had sewn on my belt. Leaving a note for my charge letting her know I left early, I grabbed a jacket, then pulled on my boots, laced them up, and quietly left the room. I already had a ticket to Balamb which BG had paid for; I took my ticket to the Timber train station and got my old ticket replaced with a new one. Thankfully, I had made it to the station just in time, and the train was leaving in less than half an hour.

The train ride from Timber to Balamb was uneventful. I spent the time preparing my clipboard and organizing the documents necessary for adjudicating the exams. The mission was easy enough; the Fire Cavern was right next to Garden, and only had a few chambers. _Hyne, I hope this kid isn't a doofus_, I thought. I read his file during the ride. He was seventeen, trained in martial arts, and was signed up to take the SeeD field exam later that day. _Zell Dincht. How do you even pronounce that? Is that German? Why am I even doing this? I could have stayed in bed for another three hours_.

The train arrived in Balamb about a half hour before the test was to begin. I hurried out of the station and made my way toward Garden. Barreling through the checkpoint gate and flashing my pass at the guard, I made it into Balamb Garden just in time to meet up with Xu. I found her in the first floor lobby.

Xu turned to greet me. "Major Littleton," she said, "You're just in time!"

"Yeah, yeah." I shrugged. "Where's this kid? And how do I pronounce his family name?"

Xu giggled, squinting her eyes. She's actually kinda cute. If only she wasn't so infuriating. "It's pronounced Dincht; it rhymes with sinked."

_That's not actually a word_. I frowned. "Do you know him at all?"

Xu stopped and shook her head. "Sorry, I don't think I've ever had a conversation with him. I've only even seen him in the cafeteria."

_Alright, it could be worse_, I reminded myself. _At least he doesn't have a reputation_.

We waited for a few minutes in silence. At approximately 1000 hours, Quistis Trepe arrived, trailed by a wiry, blond kid with a tribal tattoo on his face. Both of them saluted. I hastily shoved Dincht's paperwork in my bag and faced them.

"Major Littleton, this is Zell Dincht, one of my students," explained Trepe. She smoothed her long, blonde hair in what seemed to be anxiety. "Thank you for volunteering to serve as support for his test at such short notice." I curtly nodded in reply.

Dincht approached me with a wide grin on his face. "It's nice to meet you, Major Littleton!" he exclaimed excitedly. He rubbed his glove-clad palm on his pants and extended his hand to shake mine. I didn't acknowledge that he made the gesture. His face fell a bit.

"Well, I have to go check on a student in the infirmary," said Trepe. Xu looked at Trepe worriedly.

"Yep, Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart were at it again," explained Trepe. Sounds like Almasy, I thought. Trepe turned back to Dincht. "Good luck, Zell." Dincht turned to her, his spirit perking back up. Xu gave him a thumbs-up gesture. Both women turned to leave, leaving me alone with this goofy kid in the lobby.

"Let's not waste time," I said, a bit irritated. I turned to leave, and Dincht followed.

We passed through the gate and the courtyard in awkward silence. I could tell that Dincht was squirming in the awkwardness, but I'm not one for small talk. I broke the silence once we reached the final gate separating Garden from the Balamb wilderness.

"So, you know what the objective is?" I asked coolly.

Dincht puffed up his chest. "Explore the Fire Cavern and acquire a GF!" he exclaimed proudly.

"Good job," I said dryly. "Make sure you have another GF equipped before we get there."

"Already got it! I'll never be lost as long as I've got Quetzalcoatl equipped!" _Man, this kid is getting on my nerves, and I've only known him for about five minutes_.

"What about magic?" I inquired.

"Yup! I already have Blizzard junctioned to my attack! Piece of cake!" _And he's a know-it-all. Great._

We reached the Fire Cavern and approached the Garden staff blocking the entrance. They addressed Dincht coldly.

"Objective: To obtain a low-level GF. A SeeD member must support. Are you ready?"

"Heck yeah I am!" said Dincht enthusiastically.

"I'm his support," I offered, saluting. "Major Rowan Littleton."

The staff again addressed Dincht and asked him a few more questions. He answered, and the staff parted, allowing Dincht and myself to enter the Cavern. We entered, and the staff resumed their original places blocking the entrance.

The trip inside the Cavern was largely uneventful. Dincht became quiet as he focused on discerning a path to take, and he was able to defeat the few monsters we encountered on the way with little help from me. He became much more focused in this environment, and at times seemed to forget I was even there. Wow, this kid is awkward, but he ain't half bad.

We came to a break in the path right before the GF's chamber. Dincht stopped with his back to me and surveyed the choices. After thinking it through for a about half a minute. He decided on the right fork. He actually knows what he's doing; he just needs to shut up and think a bit more.

Battling Ifrit was a bit harder than the smaller enemies we had come across, but it wasn't too difficult to manage. I put in a bit more effort in supporting Dincht's efforts, but the GF didn't put up much of a fight.

After summarily defeating the GF, Dincht let out a whoop and kicked up his heels.

"ALRIGHT! I GOT IFRIT! I'M KING OF THE WORLD!" he shouted gleefully. I let him have this moment, then reminded him he still had a time limit to meet. He quickly finished celebrating, and we headed back through the Cavern. We made it back about three minutes before his time limit was up. The Garden staff made note of this, then sent us back to Garden.

When we left the Cavern, the grin Dincht had had on his face earlier was back. I escorted Dincht back to the first gate.

"Well, you passed that test with flying colors," I said to him. "How do you feel?"

"Pretty freaking fantastic," he said confidently. "Like I can do anything! Now I feel ready for my field exam!"

"Good," I said. I almost smiled.

As we continued through the courtyard, Dincht faced me. "Major Littleton," he started, "I have a question for you."

I returned his gaze. "Yeah?"

"Um . . ." For once, it seemed that Dincht was having trouble coming up with something to say. "Never mind," he corrected. "You just remind me of somebody."

"What?" I asked, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind. It's nothing." He smiled, but it faltered a bit. _What was all that about?_

We reached the lobby. "Remember to assemble at the lobby at 1600 hours in your uniform," I reminded him.

"Yeah, sure thing!" said Dincht. "Thanks for helping me with the GF test, Major Littleton!" He saluted.

"No problem," I smirked. "Good luck in your field exam."

"Thanks!" he said, and skipped down the hall toward the dormitories. _Odd kid. Nice enough, but odd._


	2. Chapter 2: Don't Be Afraid

After escorting Dincht back to Garden, I visited the headmaster's office to turn in Dincht's paperwork. Headmaster Kramer greeted me warmly, yet a bit shakily, as I saluted.

"Well, if it isn't one of Galbadia Garden's best and brightest!" he exclaimed, wringing his hands. "How are you doing? How's the new job?"

He always seems so nervous around me. I guess I intimidate him.

"Fine," I said, gritting my teeth. I handed him Dincht's paperwork.

"Oh, you assisted a student in a test?" asked Kramer. _Geez, this old man knows nothing about what goes on here anymore._

"Yes," I stated blankly. "Zell Dincht."

"Oh." Kramer had a puzzled look on his face. "I wouldn't have paired the two of you together." _Neither would I_, I thought. "He's quite - uh, _exuberant_, isn't he?"

I shrugged. "His adjudicator is sick today. I was a last-minute replacement."

"Ah," said Kramer. "Well, Xu knows which SeeDs are of the highest caliber more than anyone else. Obviously, she trusted you enough to assist someone you may not even be compatible with."

_Or she just wanted to screw with me._ "I need to get going, Headmaster. I'm adjudicating a field exam as well."

"Oh, all right," huffed the headmaster. "You take care now, Major."

"Thanks."

-

I wasn't sure of where to change into my SeeD uniform while at Garden, so I ran into the training facility to use one of the changing rooms. I fumbled with the Balamb uniform. It was different from Galbadia's uniform, and it had a lot more buttons and zippers, some of which were in unfortunate and unnecessary places. About ten minutes before I was supposed to meet the candidates, I stumbled back into the headmaster's office, fumbling with my tie and attempting to smooth my hair. Xu greeted me.

"Here you go," she said, handing me the files for the field exam. "Please take a look at the files before you meet with the SeeD candidates."

"Yeah, ok," I said, breathless. I checked out the files in the elevator.

Squad Leader: Seifer Almasy

_Great. Just great. I have to deal with this asshole for the entirety of the exam.  
_  
Squad Member: Zell Dincht

_Again?! I just assisted in his last test! Does no one like this kid or something? Why am I stuck with him?  
_  
Squad Member: Squall Leonhart

_Well, this will be interesting. Almasy and Leonhart apparently hate each other, so this will be a fun trip._

Sighing, I exited the elevator and entered the lobby, where the three SeeD candidates were receiving a pep talk from the headmaster. I approached as the headmaster finished speaking. Trepe, Dincht, and a young man with brown hair and an angry red scar on the bridge of his nose all saluted me as I approached. _That guy must be Leonhart._ Almasy, flanked by his cronies, merely sneered. He had a nasty scar on the bridge of his nose as well. _Wow, those two really went for it, didn't they?_ He was not wearing his uniform, opting instead for a rather ostentatious white coat, which I hoped would make him a target. I made a note in his file. _Almasy, we haven't even started the exam and you're already off to a bad start._

I cleared my throat. "Hello, everyone. I am Major Rowan Littleton. You will refer to me as either Major or Major Littleton at all times. If you refer to me in any other way, I will make sure that you automatically fail this exam.

"I am here to adjudicate your exam and to provide assistance only where absolutely necessary. If everything goes well, I will be nothing but a fly on the wall. I will not make decisions for you or tell you what your objectives are. I am only to intervene in battles in situations of life or death. Are there any questions?"

Almasy glared at me pointedly. Leonhart fixed his gaze on the ground. Dincht smiled nervously.

"Alright, if there are no questions, let's head out."

Almasy, Dincht, Leonhart, Trepe, and I made our way through the lobby and onto a SeeD van, which took us to Balamb Town. I sat between Leonhart and Dincht, which I found better than sitting next to Almasy, at the least. However, I realized as soon as I sat down that this was an equally poor choice.

After a few precious moments of silence, Dincht piped up. "Hey Squall, show me your gunblade, will ya?"

Leonhart ignored this request. Dincht kept bugging him about it. _Just shut up already. I can't hear myself think._

It became very clear that Dincht cannot sit still. About halfway to the station, Dincht stood up and began practicing his battle form, throwing a few punches in the air. Almasy was clearly not pleased.

"Stop that," Almasy said in icy tones. "It's annoying. Chicken-wuss."

Dincht immediately became irate. "What did you call me?" he said, making a threatening gesture. I made a note in Dincht's file - _needs to learn to control emotions._ Trepe commanded him to sit back down.

Leonhart then asked Trepe about a girl he saw in the infirmary that morning. Almasy began laughing to himself. "This is great. I have Chicken-wuss and a guy who just reached puberty in my squad." I made a note in Almasy's file - _poor morale. Unsupportive to teammates._ The other boys seethed in silence. We rode the rest of the way to Balamb in uncomfortable silence.

We arrived at the docks. I ushered the candidates and Trepe onto the vessel that was to take us to the field. There were a few scattered notes in my files concerning the mission, but all I knew for sure was that we were going to Dollet and supporting SeeD forces. When we entered the vessel, Xu was waiting for us. Dincht and Leonhart saluted her. Xu looked past them to address Almasy.

"Seifer, how many times has it been now?" she asked.

"Oh, I just love these exams," Almasy purred sarcastically.

After this exchange, everyone was seated. As the vessel transported us to Dollet, Xu informed the boys about the mission. I made notes of the instructions in case of disaster. When Xu finished presenting, she directed the boys to talk to either Trepe or myself if they had any questions. I ignored the little remarks that shot among the boys. They're all nervous. People tend to babble when they're nervous. A few minutes later, we landed, and entered a war zone. I was prepared; the question was, were any of the three boys prepared for this?


	3. Chapter 3: The Landing

When we landed, Trepe reminded Almasy, Dincht, and Leonhart of their central mission and to equip their GFs. They headed into combat briskly. I observed their combat techniques and made notes on their form and the way they worked together - or, rather, how they didn't work together at all. The three of them all acted individually rather than as a squad, which was typical of three teenage boys who all dislike each other. Almasy was extremely bossy as a squad leader, and lacked both the charisma and patience to be a good leader. Dincht often made comments questioning Almasy's authority, and from the Leonhart's facial expressions and body language, I could guess that he was doing the same internally. Leonhart was quite obviously not impressed with Dincht's loquaciousness.  
The disjointed squad made its way to the square, where they were to be on standby until confronted by the enemy. I waited with them. The three candidates were all obviously impatient. Almasy swung his gunblade in the air, screaming for Galbadian soldiers to "show him what they got," or something like that; Dincht paced nervously, and then in an increasingly irritated fashion; and Leonhart wandered around the square as if looking for clues. A stray dog was also waiting at the square. It was kind of cute. The boys all ignored the dog.  
After about fifteen minutes of waiting, Almasy snapped, exclaiming, "That's it! I can't take it anymore! What is this, some kind of dog training?" As if on cue, the dog began to howl. The boys and I retreated to a corner as multiple Galbadian soldiers ran past the square and toward the Dollet communication tower. After witnessing this, Almasy decided he wanted to go see where the Galbadian soldiers went. Dincht protested, saying that it was against orders. Leonhart "stood by the captain's decision."  
Dincht then looked at me as if I was supposed to be some voice of reason. I glared back icily. "I am not here to make decisions for you," I said. Dincht looked down sheepishly.  
I didn't take many notes on this incident. To be completely honest, I was intrigued as well. While the candidates bickered over whether or not to follow the soldiers, I began scouting the next area. I wasn't in charge of the decisions they were making, but I was in charge with keeping these kids safe. The three all decided to leave the area; Almasy ordered that the squad was to "secure the summit." I followed them up the stairs carved into the mountain ahead. There were monsters up ahead, instead of just usual human targets. The candidates, while disjointed as a squad, were all quite excellent fighters, and had very few problems taking down monsters in their path.  
We reached the summit overlooking the communication tower. As I approached, Almasy began lambasting about his dreams or whatever. I wasn't paying attention to him, as I was scanning the summit for potential threats. Eventually the three got into an argument, and Almasy left us behind behind, screaming something about his "romantic dream."  
As soon as Almasy left, there was a rustle in the bushes behind us. Dincht, Leonhart, and I wheeled around, on edge. From the bushes stumbled a tiny girl in a SeeD uniform. She looked to be about five years old. She tripped as she emerged from the bushes and fell flat on her face. _Is this girl a SeeD candidate? She seems . . . useless._  
Dincht rushed to help her up. She waved him off, stood on her own, and dusted herself off.  
"Excuse me!" she exclaimed, saluting. "Squad B Captain? I have a message!" She surveyed the three of us as if to determine which one of us to address.  
"He took off," I said brusquely. "I'm the adjudicator. What is your message? And who are you?"  
The girl hesitated, unmoving in her salute. "Um, Selphie Tilmitt, sir," she whimpered in an attempt to be polite. "I'm bringing orders to withdraw. We're to assemble at the shore."  
"An order to withdraw takes priority," said Leonhart simply.  
"Alright, then, let's go!" said Dincht.  
"Wait! What about the captain?" asked Tilmitt. "I need to deliver the message to him as well!"  
"We'll go find him," I said quickly, nearly interrupting Tilmitt. "He went into the communication tower. Let's go relay the message to him." I turned on my heel and headed down the path. I stopped when I heard a loud crash. Turning, I saw that Tilmitt, in her haste, had jumped off of the summit.  
"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" exclaimed Dincht. "Who does that?"  
"It's faster!" I heard Tilmitt squeak.  
Leonhart rushed past me down the path, Dincht following close behind. I flanked them as we headed down the path to the entrance of the communication tower. Tilmitt was waiting for us at the base, dusting herself off.  
"I'm surprised you're not injured," I remarked. Tilmitt grinned. Leonhart and Dincht exchanged looks. I could tell we were all thinking approximately the same thing: _Wow, girls are crazy. Especially this one._  
I joined Tilmitt, Leonhart, and Dincht in following Almasy inside the communication tower. The Galbadian army had apparently been working on making the communication tower functional again, and as such we were met with some high-ranking Galbadian soldiers. Almasy was there, but I have no idea what he was doing. I joined Leonhart, Tilmitt, and Dincht in the fight against the soldiers just in case, but the three proved to be a cohesive fighting unit together. However, Galbadian soldiers were the least of our problems on the top of this communication tower.  
While we battled the Galbadian soldiers a monster unexpectedly showed up and made to attack the kids. With the use of our GFs and battling skills, we effectively fought off the beast. To this day I'm not sure where that monster came from or why it was there, but I'm glad I was there adjudicating the field exam, because I'm afraid that if there were fewer soldiers fighting it off, there would have been a few casualties.  
After the battle, Tilmitt found Almasy and approached him.  
"Squad B Captain, 'scuse me" said Tilmitt, "I have new orders. All SeeD members and SeeD candidates are to withdraw at 1900 hours. Assemble at the shore."  
"Withdraw?!" exclaimed Almasy. "But there are still enemies around!"  
Tilmitt shrugged.  
I realized that we only had thirty minutes left to withdraw. "We've gotta hurry, guys," I said.  
"I thought you weren't supposed to give us orders," said Dincht uncharacteristically coolly.  
"This is a special scenario," I retorted, sheathing my daggers.  
"Well, you got thirty minutes to get to the shore," said Almasy. "Better run!" He took off, leaving the four of us behind, protesting his sudden disappearance.


	4. Chapter 4: Never Look Back

I escorted the three remaining SeeD candidates out of the tower. As we exited the building, we all heard an odd noise coming from the top of the tower.  
"Did you hear that?" asked Dincht fearfully.  
"Yeah . . . it sounded like . . . metal scraping on metal . . ." gasped Tilmitt.  
"It sounded like bad news," agreed Leonhart.  
I looked up and couldn't believe my eyes. There was a giant metal spider crouched on top the communication tower, poised to jump. It hurled itself off the tower towards us.  
"RUN!" I exclaimed. We tried to make our way out of the path of the robot spider, but it was too large. It blocked our path.  
"Well, there's only one way out, I guess," said Leonhart, drawing his blade.  
We all got into attack mode. Before it even got in its first swipe at us, a flurry of nunchucks, fists, blades, and magic rendered the robot dysfunctional.  
"Now's our chance!" screamed Dincht. "Let's get the hell outta here!"  
We got the hell outta there. However, not long after we escaped the clutches of the demonic robot spider, it began chasing us again.  
"I thought we already busted that thing up!" exclaimed Dincht.  
"No time for that! Move!" I shouted.  
We made a significant amount of headway toward the shore, but before long the spider caught up to us, snapping at Tilmitt's jacket with its pincers. We all attempted to shoot magic at the robot to quell its onslaught, to little avail. We screamed through the streets of Dollet.  
"Man, why doesn't this thing just give up?" wheezed Dincht in between breaths. Tilmitt retorted, "I don't know, why don't you go ask it?" Her words were also punctuated with heavy breaths. Leonhart remained silent.  
As we approached the shore, the kids began slowing down and their breathing became more pronounced. Leonhart began slowing down more significantly than the others. _Geez, I thought this guy would be fit_, I thought. I then felt a sense of guilt wash over me. _That's not my business. What's important is making sure he and everyone else are safe._  
When we reached the shore, Leonhart tripped and fell on the sand. The robot's pincers inched closer and closer to him. I was about twenty yards away from him, and the others were closely approaching the vessel. I ran back to Leonhart, lifted him in my arms, and ran back towards the vessel as fast as I could muster. All of a sudden, shots were fired from the vessel. I looked up as I ran and saw Trepe manning a turret on the top of the vessel, firing rounds into the robot's metal exoskeleton. The robot was subdued, and I was able to make it the rest of the way with Leonhart in a fireman's carry. Dincht was waiting at the lip of the vessel; I handed Leonhart over to him, and climbed aboard. We safely made our way back to Balamb on the vessel. Fortunately, Leonhart wasn't injured during the escape; he was just too shaken to move after he tripped and fell.  
Almasy had made it back to the vessel well ahead of the rest of us. I noted to give him low marks for his poor performance in the exam, in both failing to follow orders and leaving his squad behind when they needed him the most. The adjudicator's marks from the field exam aren't the only score taken into account when determining who becomes a SeeD, but it's a pretty huge chunk of the grade. I knew just from this event that Almasy had miserably failed in becoming a SeeD.

The ride back to Balamb was excruciatingly, uncomfortably silent. Even Dincht kept his trap shut the whole way back, although I'm sure he was mostly just terrified from the robot attack. Trepe came back down from the turret with a solemn expression on her face. She glared at Almasy the entire way back to Balamb. Almasy was sitting leaned back, hands behind his head, with a devil-may-care expression on his face the whole time. Xu sat with her lips pursed and her legs crossed tightly. Tilmitt sat on the floor of the vessel on the verge of tears. Leonhart was surprisingly the person to break the silence.  
"Thank you, Major Littleton," he muttered, staring at the floor. I jumped at the unexpected admission.  
"Um . . . you're welcome, Leonhart," I said brusquely. "I was only doing my job."  
Trepe broke her glare to focus on me. Her gaze softened a bit. "What happened?" she inquired.  
"It's a long story," I answered. "It'll be in my report." I glanced at Almasy, who did not flinch. Dincht gave Almasy a nasty look, crossing his arms.  
Trepe looked back at Almasy, her look hardening back into its former stern expression. We all sat in silence for the rest of the trip back to Balamb.  
The vessel eventually arrived in Balamb, and we all disembarked. Almasy's cronies were waiting for him, and they managed to get the van driver to leave without the rest of us. This didn't particularly bother me, as I was not looking forward to being cooped up in yet another vehicle with Almasy. I escorted Leonhart, Tilmitt, and Dincht back to Garden. This time I didn't mind the small talk as much, since we had sat in near silence for the entire vessel ride. On the way back to Garden, I did everything I could to keep the conversation away from the exam. The three candidates seemed happy to talk about anything other than the exam. Tilmitt mentioned that she had recently transferred from Trabia, and babbled about what Trabia Garden was like. Dincht talked about growing up in Balamb Town and his parents. Leonhart grunted a few times and said something about being at Balamb Garden since he was a young child. I was guarded about my Garden experience. To be fair, I don't remember much of it, but what I do remember isn't particularly worth repeating, especially to people I don't know very well. I let them talk and pretended I was particularly interested. When we got back to Garden, we parted ways. I gave my evaluations to Xu after writing some positive notes about Tilmitt. After that, I returned to Balamb to meet Rinoa at the train station.


	5. Chapter 5: Waltz for the Moon

"So, why are you attending the inauguration ball again?" I asked Rinoa, trying to unbutton my shirt while keeping the bathroom stall closed with my other hand. _Damn these shitty Balamb public bathrooms._  
"I need to talk to Cid, remember? I need to contract some SeeDs for our . . . mission." I could practically hear her winking on the other side of the stall door. She had been intelligent and changed into her formal attire before she even left the train.  
"I'm just going to go with it and pretend like I know what you're talking about," I assured her, fumbling with my starched dress pants. I had to let go of the stall door to get them on, and it accidentally swung open. Rinoa squealed and slammed it shut, keeping it closed by standing with her back flush to the stall door.  
"S-s-sorry," I stammered. There's something about a pretty girl like Rinoa seeing me in any state of undress that makes me feel jittery. I'm not sure why. It's the only situation that makes me genuinely nervous.  
"Hee-hee! It's not like we have different parts!" joked Rinoa. My face still burned as blood rushed into my cheeks. I went back to buttoning my pants.  
"Anyway, I was also hoping to find a cute guy to dance with," babbled Rinoa. "Do you think Seifer will be there?" _Ugh. Really? Your asshole ex? You have the worst taste in men_. I pulled on my dress uniform shirt.  
"I dunno," I lied. _If he's there, I either royally screwed up the adjudication forms, or he got accepted to SeeD by some technicality. He would never go if he wasn't inaugurated as a SeeD_. I buttoned my shirt.  
"I hope so," she said. I slipped on my shoes, pulled on my dress blazer, and gave a shave-and-a-haircut knock on the stall door. Rinoa turned around and let me out of the stall, positively beaming.  
"Look at you! Looking good!" praised Rinoa. "Maybe I'll just have to dance with you instead!" she joked. _Is she joking? I'm pretty sure she's joking._  
"Uh . . . yeah." _Wow, Rowan, you're so good at smooth-talking to pretty girls._ "Will you help me pin my badges on my blazer?" I asked her.  
"Yeah, of course!" giggled Rinoa. I handed her the box I keep my military decorations in, and she pinned them to the left breast area of my jacket. _Hyne, I feel like a perv. Does she know I'm into girls? She has to know_.  
When Rinoa finished, she checked her watch. "Holy crap! The ball's in fifteen minutes! We need to run!" She grabbed my hand and tried to pull me out of the bathroom.  
"Wait wait wait! My bag! My combat uniform!" I exclaimed, gesturing at all of my stuff strewn about half of the bathroom.  
"Oh . . . hee-hee. I forgot." I gathered my things and looked into one of the mirrors in the bathroom. I attempted to fix my chin-length black hair, which just flopped around in my face. My bangs were a bit overgrown, but there was no way I was taking scissors to my hair in a public bathroom minutes before attending a formal function.  
"Here, I have some bobby pins in my bag," offered Rinoa. She proffered the pins. I looked back in the mirror and decided I would probably look more put together if I at least pinned back my unruly bangs.  
"Did you want to wear makeup too?" asked Rinoa after I pinned my bangs. I looked in the mirror again. My normally warmly-colored face looked pale and sallow, with dark circles showing under my pale green eyes, high cheekbones, a long nose, and a thin, almost disappearing upper lip. The scar below my right eye looked slightly angrier and redder than usual, flanked by the pallor of the rest of my face. Makeup was probably a good idea.  
"Yeah, I probably should." Rinoa took out the little makeup she had brought for touch-ups. I had a red lipstick in my bag, so we added that as well. After we applied makeup I looked in the mirror. Even wearing a decidedly masculine uniform, I looked more feminine with my bangs pinned back and lipstick on. Scanning the rest of my body, I frowned at my chest. My breasts were more present than I wished. I pulled on the collar of my shirt and adjusted my tie to cover my chest a bit more.  
"How do I look?" I asked.  
"Less handsome, more pretty," said Rinoa. "Still good-lookin'."  
"I'll take that," I said, looking over my visage one more time. We packed up the makeup and headed out of the bathroom.

It was almost sundown when we left Balamb.  
"Crap! I don't wanna be late!" exclaimed Rinoa.  
"We'll be fine," I said wearily. "The Headmaster will at least be there for a few more hours."  
"But there will be more people there now that it's started," whined Rinoa. "How will I find him with all the people?"  
"Don't worry about it," I assured her. "We'll find him, and I'll make sure there's enough time for you to ask him about the job you want done."  
Rinoa grinned at me. "Thanks, Rowan. You're the best." _Ugh, my face is burning again._  
We arrived at the ball. As soon as we dumped our stuff off in the coat room, she grabbed me into a simple waltz formation. I had no problem taking on the gendered "male" role in the dance, either. I'm nearly half a foot taller than Rinoa, even when she's in heels, so it suited us just fine. We danced for a few minutes while she scouted the room. After a while, she spotted a suitable male subject with whom to dance.  
"What about him, over there?" she asked. "That guy with the brown hair, standing in the corner?"  
"Who, Leonhart?" I asked. She pointed at her subject, confirming my assumption. "Yeah, sure. He's fine. I adjudicated his field exam earlier today."  
"Oh, really?" she asked. "What's he like?"  
"Strong, silent type, I guess," I suggested.  
"Good enough for me." She grinned almost maniacally.  
We refrained from our dance. I allowed her ample space in which she could make her move. Keeping an eye on both of them, I scanned the room for the headmaster. Having no luck, I turned to find Rinoa and Leonhart when I found Dincht and Tilmitt. I approached them as Tilmitt was trying to talk Dincht into joining some committee with which I was not familiar.  
"Come on! It'll be fun!" said Tilmitt, tears welling in her eyes.  
"Uh . . . okay, sure. Why not?" said Dincht defeatedly. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "Just quit giving me those puppy-dog eyes, I can't handle it."  
"YAY!" exclaimed Tilmitt, leaping into the air. "It's going to be the best event EVER!"  
I grabbed a champagne from a passing server and approached the two newly-minted SeeDs. "Congratulations, you two," I said, extending my other hand to shake.  
Dincht's eyes lit up at the prospect, and shook my hand enthusiastically. _Man, this kid gets excited about the weirdest things._ Tilmitt shook my hand and went to go find other people to bother. I looked around to locate Rinoa and Leonhart, and found them still dancing rather awkwardly. I turned back to find Dincht still looking back at me with veritable stars in his eyes.  
"Thank you so much, Major Littleton!" he beamed. "I couldn't have done it without you!" _Well, that's true, considering that I adjudicated the exam that served as most of your score._  
"How was the ceremony?" I asked, feigning interest.  
"Oh, it was super short," he replied. "There were only four of us. Cid gave each of us a pin and advice."  
I took a sip of champagne. "Oh? What advice did he give you?"  
"Uh . . ." Dincht looked uncomfortable at the prospect of revealing to me his deepest flaw.  
"Well, he said that I need to c-control my emotions," Dincht stammered. He took a hearty swig of his drink after his admission. _Called it._  
"Yeah, you do," I said bluntly. "But you know what? You've got a lot of strengths too. You have a strong moral compass, and you're fiercely loyal. That's what sets you apart from the crowd. That, and your physical strength, of course." _Wow, did just one sip make me spill all that out? Damn, what happened to my guard?_ I hastily took another drink as soon as I finished my sentence.  
Dincht's cheeks became visibly red, and he took another drink. "Uh, thanks, Major Littleton," he said. "That's really kind of you to say."  
We paused awkwardly, not sure of what to say next. My face was burning. _What the hell are you saying, Rowan?_ I hummed and looked around frantically for Rinoa. I found her talking with the headmaster. I didn't want to interrupt them.  
"Don't get too cocky," I said as I turned back to him. "You've still got a lot to work ahead of you if you want to be a good SeeD."  
Dincht was looking up at me with some sort of benign curiosity. I hadn't realized before how short he is. I had a good four inches on him, just enough that he actually had to tilt his chin to look at me. We were also standing a bit more closely to each other than I had originally noticed. As I took a step back to distance myself from Dincht, he opened his mouth as if to say something, decided against it, and took a drink instead. _Hyne, this is awkward._  
I racked my brain for an excuse to leave. "I, uh . . . have to go to the bathroom."  
"Oh, ok," said Dincht, seemingly a bit puzzled. His eyes were drier. "Well, it was nice to meet you, Major Littleton. Maybe we'll get to be on a mission together someday!"  
_Not if I have anything to say about it_, I thought. I chugged the rest of my champagne. The carbonation burned my throat. "Well, I gotta go," I said. My voice came out hoarse and raspy. "Congrats, and bye." I awkwardly waved my goodbyes to Dincht and didn't look back. I joined Rinoa and the headmaster just as they were saying their goodbyes. Rinoa grinned at me as I approached.  
"Well, did it go as you planned?" I asked her.  
"Yup! He agreed to send me three SeeDs for a lot less than the usual going rate! Am I lucky or what?" She beamed.  
"Awesome," I said. I was still super fuzzy about what she was even talking about.  
Rinoa stifled a rather large yawn.  
"Are you ready to go home?" I asked. Rinoa shook her head.  
"No! I want to find that cute guy again! What was his name again?"  
"Leonhart. Squall Leonhart."  
"Ugh, his name is too sexy. How is he even real?"  
I tried really hard to not roll my eyes. I promise that I tried. I can't say I succeeded.  
We looked for Leonhart for a few minutes, to no avail. I saw Dincht a few more times while looking, and successfully avoided making eye contact. After Rinoa deemed all of the men in attendance at the ball "less hot" than Leonhart, we left the ball. We gathered our things and made our way back to the Balamb train station.  
While walking back to the station, I asked Rinoa, "So, when is this plan you contracted for coming to fruition?"  
"Tomorrow," Rinoa replied matter-of-factly.  
"WHAT? Tomorrow?" I exclaimed incredulously. "How? Are you prepared for it to happen tomorrow?"  
"Yeah," she replied. "We'll be fine. I only need them for the carrying-out of the plan, not the planning part. Oh, and you're helping too."  
"Um, what again?" I asked, dumbfounded. "Why am I only being made aware of this now?"  
"Because I didn't want to tell you until I knew for sure that it was going to happen," Rinoa said simply.  
"Wow. Well, ok," I said, defeated. Under the terms of my contract, I couldn't argue with Rinoa over anything relating to my duties to her. She could basically ask me to do anything she wanted, as long as it wasn't overly degrading or infringing upon my basic rights. "When will I know what I'm doing tomorrow?"  
"Tomorrow, when the other SeeDs know," she stated. _Great. Probably because you're so disorganized._  
We arrived at the train station and boarded. I conceded to the fact that I was going to have a hell of a day tomorrow. Rinoa fell asleep with her head on my shoulder while we rode the train from Balamb back to Timber. When we arrived, I practically had to carry her off the train. I got us back to base safely, and we were finally able to relax at home.  
After we got home, I lied in bed for quite a while thinking about what a busy day that day was, and whether the next would be as busy or even busier. _I really won't mind doing some special mission for fun_, I thought. _It'll be more interesting than just sitting around and babysitting all day. And it won't be too awkward, as long as Dincht isn't in the group that's sent to us. He's a nice kid, but he's obnoxious, immature, and emotional. I can't reasonably work with someone like him._


End file.
